Horrible, yet great year. 

Here’s some memories: [not in order]

• decoration head for charity dinner, 2 years in a row
• trying buffalo wild wings for the first time, LOVE
• confidence to swim varsity practice all season 
• starting kdrama dvd collection <33
• 2nd cal hosts interact w/ z best
• 1st time stuffing 15 people in cynthia’s car..
• traveling to Arizona with db family <33
• WINNING 1ST AT EVERY RACE IN AZ, EXCEPT ONE RACE
• losing by 0.5 seconds. 2nd at lake merced 
• adventure to random hotels to get freebies at 1am..
• db beach bonding with the team
• going through a pitch black cave up a waterfall.
• attending junior prom for the first time
• passed the WHAP ap exam with a 3 ^__^
• swim team banquet + swimmer exchange
• growing the courage to apply for interact president
• blessed to become the interact historian 2011-2012 <3
• losing someone i loved
• science camp as a cabin leader with homies! 
• BEST INTERACT EXPERIENCE I EVER HAD, RYLA 2011. <333
• visiting my mom in june ^__^
• lighting up 700+ dollars worth of fireworks with my family 
• michigan’s adventure with family <33 
• courage to apply for DC after RYLA
• making it to second round of DC applications 
• pier 39 for july 4th fireworks
• ryla beach reunion + bonfire <33
• db losing streak starting @ redwood
• attending quarry lakes without a month of practice..
• trying gelato for the first time
• getting my first DSLR, nikon d3100 ^__^
• experienced my first mission peak hike w/ z girls in VANS
• oddly, hiked up AGAIN w/ interactors this time ^__^ 
• got treasurer for db club, dat voting system.
• experienced my first “cruise” with interactors ^__^ 
• wearing a sign for my birthday, all day
• did my drivers ed, got my permit, and got my behind the wheel! 
• attended another school’s dance for the 1st: mhs homecoming 
• experienced the smallest, yet best dance: KICK OFF
• 1st time my mom visited for my birthday, in a long time…
• dissapointed, yet happy with 1st place @ TI DB FESTIVAL
• fall leadership conference
• accepted into national honor society
• skipping school to go to SD w/ the team ^__^ 
• winning 1st in junior A mixed and junior A open 
• qualifying for our team’s 2nd world championships 
• winning 1st for women’s division in oakland… HISTORY MADE
• first time pre-gaming before a mixer
• failing a class for the first time =((( *crying
• grades dropped because of finals
• participating in airband for the first time
• christmas in the park w/ wesley
• sneaking out for a sleep over for the first time
• christmas break in michigan
• jeannie & phu’s wedding, family <333

Last day of 2011: Katherine’s party, Angelina’s birthday party, and New Year’s countdown family party! + FIREWORKS. Ending it strong. ^___^ 

See everyone next year! 

I try and try, but I never get what I want. I’ve been spending the past few days studying for finals and I still don’t get the test scores I want! I don’t understand. It’s just never enough! =( Now, I’m sitting here mad at myself for not trying harder earlier in the year — devastated by the fact that my grades just got fucked over by final test scores. Fuck border-line grades. I don’t even think I can get into my dream school anymore because of this semester’s grades. That’s how bad it is. But, I can’t blame anyone, but myself. I fucked up. New goal: Good SAT scores and good second semester grades. I can’t change it anymore, even if I wish I could..

*sigh.. 

Then, to top everything off, I got an email today saying that I didn’t get accepted into the summer study abroad program I wanted to go to in July. I was kind of excited about it too. Oh well.. =(

/i’m just not good enough